There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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