She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
