Got a toothbrush?
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
