how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
