You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
