Whats the glycemic index on semen?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My dick has a subreddit
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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