I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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