all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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