You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
