After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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