there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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