Who did Billy Mays play for?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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