I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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