There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
