my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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