i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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