Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
