We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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