Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
