I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
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