Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
