the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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