it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i will never coherently bang her
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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