I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
