Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
