I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
