when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize