another moral hangover. fuck.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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