Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
