Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
