if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
