Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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