I smell stomach acid.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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