Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
