So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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