Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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