Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
