i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
