I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
