dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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