she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
