its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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