Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
