so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I enjoy the company of your penis
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
