remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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