dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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