He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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