She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
