oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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