so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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