Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
