Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
