just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
