At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
