The maid of honor just puked.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
