Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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