super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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