i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Houston, we have a blender
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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