I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I am available for nakedness
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
