had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Threesome in a minivan. New low
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize