i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
