Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
